We’re honored to feature this guest blog from two friends and supporters of the Ella Baker Center for Human Rights, Chris Bohnert and Terry Rosson. Read on as they describe their heartfelt joy at the historic decision by the California Supreme Court that finally recognizes their equal right to marry as a same-sex couple under the law.
Hi everybody,
You probably know that on May 15 the California Supreme Court legalized same sex marriage in the state. Soon, when I call my county (Alameda) court house and ask for a marriage license they won’t tell me that marriage licenses are issued to anyone over the age of eighteen as long as the couples marrying are “one man and one woman.” That last part will have to be dropped.
This is a great victory for everyone who has ever been labeled “different.”
I didn’t know until today how profoundly this has affected me. I wasn’t aware of how deeply you meant it (the people I’ve met and worked with a bit at the Ella baker Center, and my Oakland and Berkeley neighbors) when you told that my being gay made no difference to you, that it was the “me” that was being seen and not the “gay me.”
I know that many of you have fought for this, have been at the forefront in speaking up for injustices and slights that are well known to you. I guess that I didn’t really trust that it was okay with you that I was me, that my Terry was my Terry in the sense of my married partner in life. I think I was unaware of this sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It dropped for me last Thursday, but in a good way, and today I have this sense of relief and joy. I can only say that I am surprised that I feel so much joy and so much relief.
I am also so grateful and thankful that I am a part of this wonderful group of people who never, ever made me feel unwelcome or uncomfortable… that isn’t all that I’m trying to say…. what I mean is… thank you… I believe you now…. I believe my “straight” friends and neighbors at a whole new level. This is really big for me as a gay person and a newly recognized, state sanctioned, California Supreme Court anointed class of individual that is granted “equal protection” under the highest standard of the laws of the state, using the “strict scrutiny standard.” This is a huge victory as never in any state in the country has such a high legal, constitutional standard for protection been applied to gays and lesbians. At a more emotional level…as Van says…it’s a real “Velcro” moment for me and Terry too.
We called the Alameda County Clerk and the message hasn’t changed yet but they emailed us back right away and said as soon as the forms are ready they will let us know. (We aren’t holding our breaths though, we’ll keep calling.) My City Councilwoman here in Berkeley called me today in answer to an email about getting married at City Hall in Berkeley. They don’t do Civil Marriage Ceremonies at Berkeley City Hall but that could change with us. The City of Berkeley said they are working on that too and we plan to keep working on them as well.
Our point in all of this is it is a great victory for everybody. We are so united on so many levels. We are all one. The shift is happening. It is the change we are working for.
Big Love
Chris Bohnert + Terry Rosson
6 Comments
I came to this WEB to find out information on different ways to bring economics, JOBS, good health, green for all, etc. to the RACE that seems to take a beating in every area by the Government, State,City,Companies and every other Race, not limited to our own black race, and this is a direct result of the slave trade like the De-Wolf’s and many more who benfits to this day. Every time I turn around Gays are comparing themeselves to civil rights movements of Blacks, which is a hardship movement that seems as if it just started 60 years ago. But, now don’t mention Race in the USA, because no one really really wants to talk about. So, we talk about selfhelp, taking ownership, Women’s and Gay rights ect.
Did GOD say man and man and woman and woman? No, he clearly said Adam and Eve, not Eve and Evette and Adam and AL. Read it for your self and don’t try to change or re-word, it’s cut dry clear.
I love all people,so don’t go there. Same sex man and a man, and a woman and a woman is just wrong for marriage. I have no problem if you live togather (that’s between you and GOD, if you believe he’s real) However, I think after so many years, perharps benefits/tax credit should be allowed. But trying to be on the spot every where/every state self center about same sex is sick, some of you make it seem like the entire world should all be gay, boy/boy and girl/girl,picture that.
What will ever happen to the natural re-production system. Stop trying to force this on people, mainly young uneducated people .
i’m a person of color. i’m also queer.
on one tip, i feel you – queers comparing the struggle for marriage equality with the civil rights movement…that’s a damn slippery slope. and folks *do* still struggle with talking about race – especially in “liberal” circles, the conversation often revolves around “ethnicity and diversity” and other such palatable pitches.
where you are just straight up offensive, though, is asserting that anyone is “forcing” queerness on people – (and what’s up with calling young people uneducated?).
there have been queer people and straight people since the beginning of time, and will continue to be. check your own biases and assumptions. i don’t particularly feel marriage – queer or straight – but i have mad love and respect for the people i know who do as much as the folks who don’t.
it’s not your (or my) right or place to tell someone else how they can recognize their relationship. so refocus your energies on creating something powerful and joyous instead of trashing folks because we dare to be strong and visible. we need authentic alliances between people of color and queers – particularly given how many of us live our live at the intersection of both (and other!) identities…
I know that many of you have fought for this, have been at the forefront in speaking up for injustices and slights that are well known to you. I guess that I didn’t really trust that it was okay with you that I was me, that my Terry was my Terry in the sense of my married partner in life. I think I was unaware of this sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop. It dropped for me last Thursday, but in a good way, and today I have this sense of relief and joy. I can only say that I am surprised that I feel so much joy and so much relief.
Love happens! In most case it’s out of our control, Marriage is a spiritual bond; I had other views in my younger days, but becoming more in touch with my spirituality and understanding the process of life, made me realize that everyone has the right to be happy. No one should be able to dictate who someone should be partnered with; this is only for god to decide. When and who gave the authority for one individual judge another, last time I checked only god had that power.
Love happens! In most case it’s out of our control, Marriage is a spiritual bond; I had other views in my younger days, but becoming more in touch with my spirituality and understanding the process of life, made me realize that everyone has the right to be happy.dantel No one should be able to dictate who someone should be partnered with; this is only for god to decide. When and who gave the authority for one individual judge another, last time I checked only god had that power.
Just because people are not comfortable in same sex marriages does not mean to say it is wrong or right.
When two of the same sex want to marry and spend the rest of their lives together, then why not, so long as they do not force it onto others who are not completely comfortable with it.